


Like, I Swear to God... (not a fic, just an outline)

by helloilikething



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Fantasy, Just an outline, M/M, Not a fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 12:53:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19273741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helloilikething/pseuds/helloilikething
Summary: I started writing this for the Goths!!! on Ice zine, but it got too daunting, and yeah, here it is for posterity. Anyway, the point was to write something that made more sense than Angel Sanctuary (which is basically everything). Anyway, enjoy?





	Like, I Swear to God... (not a fic, just an outline)

**Author's Note:**

> Victor - Siren/Fallen Angel  
> Yuuri - Vampire/Fallen Angel  
> Phichit - A sprite/sylph/Fallen Angel (hmm is he also tiny??)  
> Yurio - A banshee/Fallen Angel  
> Otabek - An.. alien? /Fallen Angel  
> Chris - a Demon/Fallen Angel - probably a succubus, aka “your old friend, the fuck demon”  
> God - ok no it’s definitely Makkachin -- because God is everywhere and all loving, God is also Vicchan, Phichit’s Hamsters are the Holy Trinity (even though that also includes God), and Yurio’s Cat is the Virgin Mary. Okay glad that’s settled. 
> 
>  
> 
> This keeps YOI’s basic plot but you know what, I think the real plot is the friends we made along the way.

So here’s the deal: After a huge party in Heaven, God kicks out a bunch of angels, some of them plop into the sea (Victor), some of them plop on land, etc, etc each becoming their own kind of mythical creature and sentenced to live amongst humans for all eternity. 

 

Yuuri, because he hit his head falling out of heaven, doesn’t remember that he’s a fallen angel and just thinks he’s a regular, run of the mill vampire. He isn’t even very good at hunting humans, and is shy and nervous about showing his sexy vampire attraction powers. Also, since he’s been sorta adopted by multiple generations of this loving human family (his YOI family) he can’t bring himself to do see humans as just simply food. Often seen drinking a packet of blood that his human-adopted sister Mari gets him from the hospital like a Caprisun. She doesn’t have a lot of access to it without it being suspicious though. Hangs out with Phichit the Sprite, who is like the devil/angel on his shoulder when it comes to getting into trouble, and generally just have fun together. Yuuri is not close to anyone else in particular, outside of Phichit and his own “family.” Every once in awhile, though, his “Eros mode” shines through, when he’s half asleep and half dreaming, during the full moon, and certain signs rising, and dances on top of a frozen lake. He doesn’t really know why he does it, it’s as if he’s acting out half a memory that he can’t remember. 

 

Of course, one year Phichit and the triplets, all stacked on top of one another like a voyeuristic totem pole and upload it on Youtube because of course they do. Yes it’s modern times because I really can’t figure out a way to do it that doesn’t involve, like, kooky astral projection but that would take too much explanation and isn’t as fun as Instagram, which is for real, modern magic anyway (maybe this whole story should be in Phichit Fairy POV?). 

 

Victor the Siren washes on the shore. Yuuri is out walking and sees him at night and is instantly really impressed. Victor the Siren isn’t a singing siren, he’s like, siren that lures people in with the power of his grace and dance instead. He also doesn’t have a fish tail all the time, he changes into a human whenever he wants. Yuuri sees him as a siren though and instantly heart eyes, but thinks he isn’t worth the attention of such a beautiful sparkly creature since he’s a dark evil vampire. What Yuuri doesn’t know is that Victor is more than capable of siren-murder, but you know, what? The dude’s bored. Luring hapless mortals to their death doesn’t seem to have any appeal any more. 

 

So Yuuri’s bad at hunting, Victor’s bored of it.

 

Victor, one night catches Yuuri on his way to his nightly staring, he looks like he’s seen a ghost and seems surprised when his hand lands solidly on Yuuri instead ot through Yuuri. Unfazed, promptly and very excitedly strikes up conversation. Yuuri starts to avoid him because of course he does and slowly they get closer? Victor tries to visit him at his house and then figures out Yuuri’s a vampire. Loves him anyway because how could he not? It’s not a really big deal. Yuuri doesn’t know that Victor has figured it out and continues to feel anxious and unworthy of Victor’s affection. 

 

Oh and he can’t tell him or remind him or talk to him about the party in Heaven because the dammed are bound from talking about heaven and grace and the memory just sits like a burning in his throat

 

Anyway, uh, some stuff happens…? 

 

and Yuuri finally learns of Victor’s like, true murder nature and try to figure out a way for Yuuri to be a better human hunter. Yuuri becomes ok with being a vampire. Also they figure out they were both fallen angels.

 

“Hey maybe we could like, fight crime and only hunt murderers??”  
Sorry Victor, there aren’t enough crime dudes to feed Yuuri.  
No, nevermind, there’s definitely a part where they try to fight crime. It’s still bad. 

 

Eventually a solution is found: Yuuri’s gonna make Victor a siren/vampire and they’ll spend eternity together feeding off each other in this weird blood back and forth, really proving that they only need each other.

 

At some point, someone has to say like they do in every anime, “I’d gladly go to hell with you.”

 

Bonus after the credits roll: They do go to Hell! Chris is there as a snazzy fallen angel demon and treats them to a great honeymoon. And yeah of course, has pic›s of the infamous party that got them all kicked out of heaven. 

 

The End.

 

I have no idea what to do with Yurio and Otabek in this though? It seems superfluous to just jam them in. But yah, Otabek is deffo a hot Sailormoon plant alien with an eagle bestie. 

 

 

Chapter 1: Paradise Lost, but Not Like, Paradise Lost  
Chapter 2: Pretty Boys Make Graves  
Chapter 29: Yeah, That One Time We Tried to Fight Crime


End file.
